As the door to the temple swings open, and we feel more at peace and in place inside, we may look back on all the years we spent in hiding, concealing our own vitality. It is appalling the amount of energy we invest into trying to fit in, wanting to please and impress people. We spend a lifetime conforming to what others want from us and so live the life of a divided self. For God knows how long, we assume that this divided self is normal and that that is all there is.
Unbeknownst to ourselves, we may make an implicit agreement not to stand out, not to show our true colors, not to “step out of line.” It is funny how our own potency scares us, as if there is some alien entity lurking within. We shy away from the very thing that makes us unique, that gives us our sparkle. All too often, we choose security over risk and complacency over feeling alive. Hiding from our authentic self only makes us feel isolated and alone. This fits into the ego’s agenda, as the ego always fears exposure to the untamed, animating force within. If the fraudulent ego gets exposed, it will lose its grip and start to unravel.
How can we embrace the wild, spontaneous, kooky, unpredictable side of ourselves? Each day we must put into practice a kind of exposure, to stand naked in front of the fire and allow ourselves to be seen. Like training the muscle memory to do a yoga pose, we “work-out” the raw, unguarded side of ourselves. We must make the simple, radical agreement to let the world open us, to let ourselves be revealed. The miracle of transformation always involves exposure, which is no doubt terrifying at first. But when the crack in our armor gets long enough and wide enough, we are willing to stand in the room unashamed of our signature self. This is harder than kicking up into handstand in the middle of the room, harder than skiing black diamonds. To be who you are requires letting go of who you think you should be, and that opens us up to the wide, fathomlessly deep true self.